Chronic Pain Always Wins

by stewart

Seems like it is going to be one of those days. The pain woke me up and I cannot escape it. I am tired of fighting and today, I will just give in. Yes. The pains always wins; it is not even a fair fight.

Soon I will take some of the chemicals the doctors prescribed and fade away into that numbness. At least the pain is no longer there, and I can function at about 20 %. Perhaps I will find a book to read; I like thrillers with stories about super spies or detectives who overcome tremendous odds. For a time, this reading gives me focus away from my problems, and there is a hero for me to like and identify with.

O spiritual traveler, I hope you never have to fight this battle and your destiny leads you elsewhere. This fight is not the good fight; even in my small victories there is a sense of loss.

O how I long to go out into the sunshine, climb a nearby hill and use my consciousness to travel on the wind like a passing cloud. Here my Friend will lift me up and shelter me from the cold, slicing pain. In the past, there were many days when I did this.

O how I long for that blanket of warm sunshine and celestial Light; hoping that in that sheltered port, the slate will wipe clean and I can be whole again, for a time.
-SB
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If this piece strikes a chord in you, I am pleased. It is not offered to solicit medical remedies or personal sympathy; it is written to share some of my experience, illustrating no one’s life is easy.

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