Seems like it is going to be one of those days. The pain woke me up and I cannot escape it. I am tired of fighting and today, I will just give in. Yes. The pains always wins; it is not even a fair fight.

Soon I will take some of the chemicals the doctors prescribed and fade away into that numbness. At least the pain is no longer there, and I can function at about 20 %. Perhaps I will find a book to read; I like thrillers with stories about super spies or detectives who overcome tremendous odds. For a time, this reading gives me focus away from my problems, and there is a hero for me to like and identify with.

O spiritual traveler, I hope you never have to fight this battle and your destiny leads you elsewhere. This fight is not the good fight; even in my small victories there is a sense of loss.

O how I long to go out into the sunshine, climb a nearby hill and use my consciousness to travel on the wind like a passing cloud. Here my Friend will lift me up and shelter me from the cold, slicing pain. In the past, there were many days when I did this.

O how I long for that blanket of warm sunshine and celestial Light; hoping that in that sheltered port, the slate will wipe clean and I can be whole again, for a time.
-SB
_____________
If this piece strikes a chord in you, I am pleased. It is not offered to solicit medical remedies or personal sympathy; it is written to share some of my experience, illustrating no one’s life is easy.

{ 0 comments }

Crazy Poet

1/13/19 My gift to you are these words which, from time to time, appear on this page. Often they originate on a distant shore, where Celestial Light is a morning sun, and a gentle breeze ushers their energy softly through me. The Author is that Radiance which has Created an Ocean of Wisdom that has […]

Read the full article →

My Path

I am neither Christian, Jew or Muslim. Nor do I follow any of the other 200 or so religions available on this planet. I am a spiritual traveler going from world to world reflecting the Light of Creation; one day to return Home to sit beside my mother and father. Here in this dimension my […]

Read the full article →

Magnificent Monastery

For the longest time, I wished that I had a church, temple, mosque or synagogue to attend. I could find no special place that called to my heart and helped my soul sing. In years past, there had always been a place: top of a close by hill; stream just below a reservoir dam; tree […]

Read the full article →

To a World Gone Crazy: A Personal Response

In these troubling times, when it seems as if the world and its people are going crazy, what is a personal reasonable response?   I offer this 3 part formula, which appears in my paper, The Sufi Call, Making the World Better: https://www.stewartbitkoff.com/the-sufi-call-making-a-better-world/.   Here are 3 actions people can take every day and contribute […]

Read the full article →

Tending My Campsite

As campers we were instructed to leave our campsite a little better than we found it. This meant picking up after ourselves as well as after others who may have left a piece of trash behind. Often, I wonder as I journey through this world how well I have tended my site. Did I consistently […]

Read the full article →

Sign of Spiritual Maturity

During the course of my life I have worried about many things. Anxiety/worry is an integral part of the human condition; being fearful, harm will befall those we love, our self, or events will not work out the way we want. Also fear serves as a warning, putting us on alert status, helping to protect. […]

Read the full article →

A Biblical Resemblance

In the part of the US where I live, this summer, it seems as if it has rained just about every day. Going weeks without sun; probably setting weather records of sorts. After awhile, all this rain, wind and darkness gets on my nerves and stimulates my fear response; wondering if we will lose electrical […]

Read the full article →

Journey With Hope

Sometimes when considering problems, because of our finite nature, it appears as if there are no further solutions and our prayers will not be answered. Yet because there is another level- the world of spirit with its boundless love and mercy- there is always tomorrow, endless possibility and another sunrise. Travel on my brothers/sisters- in […]

Read the full article →

Unlearning & Conditioning

Traveler: It is said, that in order for the spiritual traveler to reach their goal, first, they must unlearn much of what they have been taught. What is meant by this? Master: Each person’s consciousness is a mosaic; a series of shifting patterns. Some thoughts arise from our biologic nature, directed at physical survival and […]

Read the full article →

Everything Is Spiritual

As basis and throughout its fabric, all life is spiritual. The Creator, through spiritual ether, generates the physical, and everything is connected through both the worldly and spiritual- providing awareness and life energy. Consequently, all life within the physical world exists simultaneously on multiple levels of physical and spiritual reality; each of these two dimensions […]

Read the full article →